Day 17 – Are you afraid of aging? Why?

This is so cool. I mean, this question. It has come up on the day…well night of my 21st birthday dinner. Pretty rad, universe, pretty rad. I had a great time. You know, for someone that is enormously socially awkward, I’ve done a pretty sick job at making friends. Making friends, that term almost sounds like I made my friends out of paper and glue…which I did not, because I am not 10 anymore. Aha, I kid. No, I mean it. My friends are really great people. Diverse and open minded and kind and super funny. What more can one ask for. Oh, and supportive as heck. I will sure as hell miss them when I am shipped back home…or should I say kicked out….or let’s be all grown up and say, once my visa expires. Yes, so, if any of you are reading this…like thanks a lot for being you. You guys keep me sane. You do. Thanks like a million…and remember to keep calm ’cause Darth’s got your back…backs? Seriously though.

So aging, am I afraid? Well yes as heck. Because with aging comes more responsibility and even more expectations….and marriage. Ugh, marriage. Don’t ask me or even wonder why I am so cynical about marriage…there’s a tonne of reasons…actually I’ve dedicate an entire journal entry or three to the subject. And it’s not good stuff…it’s really – hang on, this post is NOT about marriage…why the heck am I rambling. Anyway, aging yes I am terrified. Because the older you get, the more your life turns into somewhat of a relay race…if that even makes sense. It’s just that you have to keep doing things…graduate, find a job, find a suitor, marry, give birth, etc, etc, etc and then die. But I suppose that that’s life in general, you know. Especially nowadays. All our lives are pretty much chasing one thing after the other. And I suppose the older you get, the quicker you have to run. You know? But hey, aging does have its perks, you know. Funnily I dedicated an entire entry to aging in my little black journal too. All about how you experience amazing things as you get older. Like, if I had stayed 18 forever, I never would have met my friends or been to that Paramore concert or realized things about myself or learned about the world. And I once heard a song that said ‘the only constant is change and you never know what you’ll find’, and the older I get, the more I am likely to find and experience and live up….even if it is marriage. You know? So aging does have a silver lining. Yep, so I guess I am sort of in the middle of the spectrum.

Not the only spectrum I’m in the middle of. Ha ha ha ha. Mind you, that is a faltered laughter. You guys doing good? Keeping up with the world news? I’ve been poor as heck with that…and I feel ashamed of myself. I do.

Oh…I was watching YouTube videos today…and there was this one video about fornication…okay, I didn’t know what that meant until this girl started to talk. Then I was just like ohhhh. THAT thing. Anyway, it was something about if you wanna stop thinking about sex you should fast…so you think about food instead. BUT…I have a problem, because I always think about food anyway. And I’m getting like you know….fat. But hey, there’s more of me for the universe…and that is a blessingggggg. Damn, I love myself a lot. Why am I sharing this on here. Totally irrelevant. That word. OH, YOU GUYS, guess who favourited my tweet? Hayley Williams’ sister….dude, it made my day. It did. So like, thanks, brain for your cleverness.

So, yeah.

I suppose that’s it.