I greet you in the language I take pride in knowing how to read and write. And although I do not understand a word of ارابيك, it would definitely go on my list of skills should I become an actress. Much like Joey Tribbiani and his French and milk drinking skills.

I hope you are all doing well. I have got an upset tummy because I over ate yesterday. I had 3 cans of coke, if you may know even just a little of what I ate. Drank? Drunk?

So I skim-read today that the no-make-up-selfie raised (why doesn’t my keyboard have a pound sign, why so racist, keyboard?) £ (I FOUND IT) 2 million! Pretty damn amazing, human beings!

Anyway. Late on Friday night, I had decided to go on hiatus mode with all my social websites….by which I mean Instagram and Snapchat. Because a) I spend too much time on Snapchat doing my-storys that I am certain only 3 people give a shit about, one of them being me. I mean, I got blocked by one of followers today…not that it matters. Or maybe it does. Does it? Duzzzzit? Would she? What? How do I wind up always quoting Friends. Moooooving on. Instagram has started to majorly bore me. But my hiatus lasted less than 24 hours.

Oh, look at that, another thing to add to my things-i-am-so-insanely-lousy-at-i-should-dig-myself-up-in-a-room-of-sand-so-as-never-to-be-found list.

I have to go now because I have run out of things to whine about.



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