Can a boy and a girl be just friends?

images (5)Boring title, I know. I just couldn’t think of any other interesting or twisted way to put it. Twisted sounds so ominous, but you know what I mean. But anyway, can they? This topic came up today and it is such a debatable topic. I suppose a lot of it depends on the way we were brought up and the culture we are born into and our mindset in general.

I was brought up in an Indian culture. And to cut it short, in my culture boys = bad. Regardless of the fact that I would ultimately have to marry one, and create babies with one, boys were bad. Simple as. The logic in that? There isn’t any. But anyway. Can boys and girls be just friends? Of course. I have a few guy-friends (rebellious, right?), and I am close to them. I care for them and trust them and love them lots. But we are just friends. Good friends, best friends even.

I suppose the whole idea of ‘boys can’t be just friends with girls’ comes from the expectation that boys and girls are meant to like each other no matter what. That they’re meant to find each other attractive, and fall in love, and whatever else, no matter what. I guess we forget that all those are ideas that are constructed by society and films. And we also forget that not everyone in the world is straight!

But then again, how does anyone ever like someone? Personally, I think you just do. I mean, liking someone is not in anyone’s hands. You can fall for anyone at any given time, and if that person so happens to be your friend, then that’s amazing. But being friends with a boy or being friends with a girl does not guarantee a relationship at the end – that is just an ideology.

500-Days-of-Summer-500-days-of-summer-15255300-500-411This is all for single people. How about married people or people who are already in a relationship? Can they be friends with people of the opposite sex? Yes, of course. Because your husband or your wife does not complete you, maybe to a certain point yes. But they are not your everything, you need friends to get along life…just like you need food. And if that friend so happens to be someone of the opposite sex, then what is the problem? Remember, everyone needs friends, and sometimes a man is more comfortable when being friends with a woman…and vice versa. All you have to have is trust and faith. Trust your wife, trust your friend, etc. It is as simple as that. And to be honest, I would be more worried if a husband’s only friend was his wife.That’s creepy, I mean, get out there…there are so many people to be friends with…widen your horizons, please.

In our Indian culture though, once you are married (women, mainly) you are not meant to talk to another man…because then, you’re a bad woman. But it’s okay if a man talks to 1000 other women, (explain to me how that works pls?). Sad, but such is our cultural belief. Pretty damn backward, right? So then again, it depends on how you value/view your culture and society’s expectations of the opposite sex to determine whether a man and a woman can be just friends even after their married.

images (6)AND lastly, if you are not married, and you know your culture requires you to get married, then sign a pre-nup. And if you happen to get married to a man or a woman that believes that ‘a man and woman can NEVER be friends’ and the marriage doesn’t end well, then that’s okay. Because, you’ve got your safety net and you don’t have to depend on anyone (hehe). Or just sign one anyway. But that also means you have to work hard and create a strong and secure future for yourself.

Whatever your views are on this topic…remember that shit happens and we all need friends to turn to.

Until next time,

Meera

4 Comments

  1. This is a very emotional topic for me cos I fell in love with my best friend and now I don’t think I have her even as a friend anymore. I don’t regret falling in love as much as I regret losing the friendship. Still shit happens. Should I go back in time, I’ll fall in love with her again in a heartbeat.
    The lesson all this taught me is to know what to expect for a friend. It’s so much easier that way.

    1. wow. I am sorry. I suppose we all fall in love with someone at some point that we can’t have, and it’s heartbreaking! But what can we do? such is life

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