Last June, I volunteered at London’s LGBTQ++ pride parade. It had rained so much that day and we were all almost drenched, but we still had such a great time. That was the first time I had attended pride. I remember all the floats. I remember all the people. I remember the banners they held out. I remember their happiness, and I remember mine. And I also remember helping this one guy get the number of another guy. Everyone and everything was so beautiful about that day.
Almost all of you may have heard the news about the USA legalising same-sex marriage. And if you haven’t, where exactly have you been? Ok ok. I am not American, I live miles and miles away from America and I am well aware that marriage equality is not the end of the fight for the LGBT++ community, but gosh, I was so excited and happy…and still am. Because people in LOVE get to get married…and that is beautiful.
I want to talk about, or rather respond to all the anti-gay stuff I have come across. Because I shouldn’t be afraid to discuss all the things I disagree with…and basically express myself, and start a conversation.
Ok. Ok. Magnets and human beings. Ok. Do magnets have a mind? Do magnets have feelings? Do magnets have emotions? Do magnets have sexual desires? Cooool story, dude. ‘Raise poor adopted kids’. Well, do heterosexual couples not adopt? And since when did they become ‘poor adopted kids’. Is this person saying that he pities the kids because they will be raised by gay men or lesbians. Wow. If he can give me proof that kids raised in heterosexual households turn out to be completely perfect, he can make this silly little statement again. Just a small thing, a child isn’t born homophobic, so a child is not going to feel sad for being brought up in a homosexual household…but but but ‘poor adopted kids’ right? And would he rather these kids spend their whole life in an orphanage than be adopted…because the parents are gay? Sweet. What about infertile parents who adopt? Are the kids ‘poor adopted kids too’. ‘Can’t give birth naturally’…well..last time I checked, lesbian couples do give birth naturally…he isn’t talking about the process of pregnancy or how one gets pregnant ‘naturally’, but of giving birth. Lesbians give birth. They get a sperm donor. They get pregnant…and guess what? Their nine-month pregnancy has exactly the same functionalities and on-goings and whatnot as a straight woman’s pregnancy…the only thing that is different is the method of becoming pregnant! Right? ‘Going against the nature’. Going against nature, how? By being homosexual? Because it’s not a common practice? Ok. Ok. Firstly homosexuality isn’t going against nature because it is practised widely by many species of the animal kingdom. Really. Google it. This person then went on to compare homosexuality to peadophilia and beastality, and I don’t even know how they all intervene because…homosexual relationships, like heterosexual ones tend often to be consensual…peadophilia is not and nor is beastality! Children cannot consent! Animals cannot consent! It is simply an invalid argument.
Another invalid argument which I found most commonly used was: ‘if your parents were gay, you wouldn’t be here.’
Right. First of all, what does anyone say to that? Let me break this down. ‘If my parents were gay’ IF my parents were gay. That’s making everything hypothetical…and we are not talking about a hypothetical situation, we are talking about a real life situation. We are not saying ‘IF’ people are gay. We are saying people are gay. We are not saying IF same-sex marriage was legal, same-sex marriage IS legal. So being hypothetical and saying IF isn’t really helping me. You can’t bring a hypothetical situation from the PAST and apply it to a situation that is focusing on the very real present and future. Gees, am I making any sense or do I sound like an absolute idiot right now. So my parents are straight and I am here writing this post and trying to make sense of that statement. Right okay. If my parents were gay I wouldn’t be here, but what if I was here? What if I was born from donated sperm that was implanted into the egg of a woman? If we are talking about ‘ifs’ here, then anything is possible! But that doesn’t make it a valid argument, does it? So I am born. I am here. And so is everyone else – the homosexuals and the heterosexuals and everyone else. We are all born. And we are all changing and evolving. I mean, that is part of life, right? I mean, even as individuals we are constantly changing – were you the same person as you are a year ago? No. We learn things, we see things from a different perspective, and we feel things differently from each other.
‘Children deserve a mother and a father’
Ok, firstly let’s talk about single parent kids. I know a few, they have turned out just fine. Children DESERVE care and affection, a mother and a father are PREFERRED by society’s definition of parenthood and family. What children deserve is a safe, happy and loving environment. What children deserve are adults they can trust, love, and call family. The idea that children need a mother and a father feeds from the idea and belief of gender roles and expectations. We live in the 21st century, a man can do what a woman can do, and vice versa.
‘The world’s population will end if same-sex marriage happens.’
Is that really possible? No. Because, not everyone is homosexual. Homosexuals are not here to take over the world. And don’t worry about the world ending, because, if it so little as comes close to that…well then, the homosexuals can help each other out…the gay men can donate their sperm to the lesbians and boooooom! The world will be repopulated again. (boy I really do live in a whole other magical universe don’t I).
And then I got people saying that ‘it is not love.’.
Ok. You know what else is ‘not love’? Forcing someone into a hetero-marriage. Forcing someone to have babies. Killing someone in the name of love because they went against your beliefs. And what makes you say that homosexual love is not love? Frankly, it is all about looking outside of the male and female attraction dynamics, and understanding there is more to it than the simple expectation of a man and woman finding each other attractive. We live in a world that is governed by what is right and what is wrong based on culture and religion. We have thousands and thousands of rape cases everyday, but no one bats an eyelid at them. But the minute someone talks about homosexual love…boom! it is automatically deemed unnatural and wrong and unauthentic and classified as a mental illness. We have so many people committing suicide because they are different from what is deemed to be ‘normal’, and very few people care. Homosexual people go through conversion therapy and corrective rape and shock therapy. They are jailed, beaten and even killed for LOVING who they want to. How hypocritical is our world? We stress the importance of love, we talk about how beautiful it is….but under the condition that it is between a man and woman. Where is the fairness in that? You have a problem with homosexual people? Okay, cool. In what way are they affecting your life? Can you not sleep anymore because of their existence? Can you not eat properly? The truth is, homosexuals have nothing to do with you. And this goes out to anyone of you that think homosexuality is ‘unnatural’ and ‘gross’, I hope you don’t watch gay or lesbian porn, and if you do, congratulations, you have mastered the art of self-contradiction and hypocrisy.
With the members of the homosexual community being imprisoned, killed, raped and committing suicide, I am affected because it is causing them harm, and I’m against the unfair treatment of them. Just like I’m against the unfair treatment of women, or any other minority group. It pains me to see them be denied basic human rights, because I believe in equality and they are being denied just that. When love is defined by series of conditions, when someone is judged based on their preferences, when someone is ostracised, the problem is not them, the problem is the society we live in. And, I am happy America legalised same-sex marriage, I am happy so happy. Because I have grown up in a culture which dictates what is expected off of me, and to see people have the right to choose who they marry makes my heart burst with happiness.
Homosexuality is here to stay. It is not affecting you in anyway. But your homophobia is affecting them. Try look beyond what you were taught to believe. Love is love. And despite what we are taught to believe, marriage is not about reproduction, marriage is about love. Reproduction alone doesn’t define a marriage. Love defines a marriage. Love is love. And I hope to see a world in which this is accepted.