Whys and Whats

On my odd days, when I am feeling either extremely inspired or terribly sad, I scribble pages upon pages in my three year old journal. I write whatever it is that comes to my mind – even if it is a gruesome and gory story about butchering a former teacher. Disclaimer: Those stories are fictional, I am not crazy, my mother had me tested. See what I did there? So, yeah, to be absolutely cliché, writing is the way I deal with the calm and havoc of the world that lives inside my mind.

Back when I was in India (August, I think), I wrote, in my three year old journal, about how the families we are born into makes the biggest difference ever. That’s stating the obvious, I know. But then I thought about the why and the what. Why was I born into this family? What makes me so different from anyone else that I was born here, in Nairobi, into a family that can send me off to get a foreign degree? What about all those kids in India? What about these kids in Kenya? Why were they born into the families they are born into? Why is my social status and theirs different? Why am I getting a foreign education and not them? What makes me so special? Why. What. Why. What. Why. What. Why. What. I went on and on with a series of questions, and a debate on whether it is destiny, sheer luck, or just because…just like that. I came to the conclusion that I do not believe in destiny nor do I believe in luck. We are where we are because we do things that we do and this is the result of those things. If I work towards creating a better tomorrow, my tomorrow will be better. If I wallow in self-pity for hours on end, my tomorrow will be empty. But that’s a whole different story. What my point was – why them and why me? So I thought and I thought and I got really upset. But then I got out of it in an instant because I realised – it is me and only me has the ability to help them. And that is why I am here. To help people, to raise my voice, to be there for them, to make sure that tomorrows children are going to be educated, that we will see a drop in sexual violence, a drop in violence, a drop in poverty. A rise in equality. If I use all the energy I spend on the whys and whats and the debates on helping people, then I am sure I will make a difference – even if it is to a single person. And that, is my friends, is my goal in this life. Is that my destiny? No it’s not. It is my decision.

But let me ask you, is it destiny? Is it luck? What is it?

Also, if you cared enough to get this far please check out this youth organisation – Stand Up Shout Out – that I most recently joined. It’s a wonderful movement, and I have been doing their filming and videography (does filming come under this?). So also check that out. And also try and help one another. And also watch this space for more stuff. I cannot believe I just typed that out.

Challo, bye now.


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